Lets Talk
Hello people,
Teenagers. Yes, thats right. I'm talking to you. Suicide isn't a joke. I'm not sure why people are talking about it so lightly. I will be walking down the hall and hear people say things like "I'm gonna kill myself. I wanna die. Go kill yourself." I should never have to hear these things in the halls. So many people have committed suicide and it should never ever be turned into a joke.
People have argued with me before that they actually did want to kill themselves. They would say that they hated school and just didn't want to go anymore. Okay, I get school sucks, but I do not think that is any justification of their words. Depression isn't just not liking something or not feeling like doing anything anymore. Depression is painful. It's probably one of the worst things that I am ever going to deal with in my life. In my experience, depression can be anything from being sad to being nothing at all. On bearable days, I'm really sad and want to cry all the time. When it gets really bad, I don't feel anything. It's like I'm not even in my body. This is one of the scariest things I have ever written while I was in this state. "I might as well kill my body since theres nothing left inside anyway." Depression is a constant state of feeling like nothing. It is a brutal illness. It is just like an epidemic like the Black Plaque. Would you ever joke about that illness? How about cancer? You probably wouldn't, so why is depression any different?
I have cut before. On really bad days or weeks or even months, all I want is to feel something. At this point, I can't even feel my body. I'm moving and touching things, but I can't feel any of it. So I took a knife and tried to feel something. And it worked. For a moment I could see actual blood and I could feel the pain of the knife against my skin. This actually made me happy for a split second because for the first time in a long time I could feel something and it gave me hope that I can feel again, but then it stopped. I put the knife down and the emptiness flooded back into me and I was even worse than before.
I try my hardest every single day to keep these memories and feelings in the back of my head and when I'm at school and somebody says "oh! Time to slit my wrists!" or "Looks like I'm going to beat up my arm tonight." and they actually use the hand motions of cutting themselves, it makes it so much harder to stay happy. When I hear and see people making a joke out of cutting or depression or any mental illness it makes me feel like absolute crap. I feel like I don't matter and that everything I've gone through is stupid, but it's not. Everything that I have gone through is so important and should be recognized as a sickness and not a joke.
If you're reading this, please don't ignore it. We need to bring awareness to how kids see depression. We should be trying to help the people who are suffering instead of joking about it and making it worse. So, please. Help make a change for the better.
~Skylar
Teenagers. Yes, thats right. I'm talking to you. Suicide isn't a joke. I'm not sure why people are talking about it so lightly. I will be walking down the hall and hear people say things like "I'm gonna kill myself. I wanna die. Go kill yourself." I should never have to hear these things in the halls. So many people have committed suicide and it should never ever be turned into a joke.
People have argued with me before that they actually did want to kill themselves. They would say that they hated school and just didn't want to go anymore. Okay, I get school sucks, but I do not think that is any justification of their words. Depression isn't just not liking something or not feeling like doing anything anymore. Depression is painful. It's probably one of the worst things that I am ever going to deal with in my life. In my experience, depression can be anything from being sad to being nothing at all. On bearable days, I'm really sad and want to cry all the time. When it gets really bad, I don't feel anything. It's like I'm not even in my body. This is one of the scariest things I have ever written while I was in this state. "I might as well kill my body since theres nothing left inside anyway." Depression is a constant state of feeling like nothing. It is a brutal illness. It is just like an epidemic like the Black Plaque. Would you ever joke about that illness? How about cancer? You probably wouldn't, so why is depression any different?
I have cut before. On really bad days or weeks or even months, all I want is to feel something. At this point, I can't even feel my body. I'm moving and touching things, but I can't feel any of it. So I took a knife and tried to feel something. And it worked. For a moment I could see actual blood and I could feel the pain of the knife against my skin. This actually made me happy for a split second because for the first time in a long time I could feel something and it gave me hope that I can feel again, but then it stopped. I put the knife down and the emptiness flooded back into me and I was even worse than before.
I try my hardest every single day to keep these memories and feelings in the back of my head and when I'm at school and somebody says "oh! Time to slit my wrists!" or "Looks like I'm going to beat up my arm tonight." and they actually use the hand motions of cutting themselves, it makes it so much harder to stay happy. When I hear and see people making a joke out of cutting or depression or any mental illness it makes me feel like absolute crap. I feel like I don't matter and that everything I've gone through is stupid, but it's not. Everything that I have gone through is so important and should be recognized as a sickness and not a joke.
If you're reading this, please don't ignore it. We need to bring awareness to how kids see depression. We should be trying to help the people who are suffering instead of joking about it and making it worse. So, please. Help make a change for the better.
~Skylar
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