Existential Crisis...College!
Hello nobody (at this point),
Have you ever had an existential crisis? An existential crisis, according to Wikipedia, is; a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value. My junior year of high school is coming to an end. Which means its time for me to start thinking about college. Many teenagers at this point in their lives are lost and don't even know where to start looking for college. I am among them, but for me it seems like it is hitting a lot harder.
Here is some background information real quick. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I have been hospitalized two times for attempted suicide. I have missed a lot of school because of this and I'm not completely on par with my class. Credentials wise, I am. Actual knowledge wise, I'm not even close. Now, I don't want you over there on the other side of the screen thinking, "Oh poor girl. She shouldn't have to go through that". There is absolutely no need for that. I am glad that I went through everything in my life so far. It has made me a stronger person.
Now that you have that information you might be able to see why the whole college thing is freaking me out. I have never had good grades, but I am smart. I learned everything. I just didn't try because I had no motivation. My GPA could definitely be better than it is right now. I haven't been in many clubs or been apart of my community. I'm not even sure what exactly I'm good at. So, why in the world would any college want me? This is my existential crisis. What will I do? Where will I go? Will I make something of myself or will I forever live with my mother? This realization came crashing down on me and left me in a paralyzed state, but now I am awake. I am making a plan. I am not going to be nothing. I am going to have an amazing, beautiful, and successful life. I am not going to let my past drag me down. I will get into a college. I will impress every single person that has ever doubted me. I will impress myself.
~ Skylar
Have you ever had an existential crisis? An existential crisis, according to Wikipedia, is; a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value. My junior year of high school is coming to an end. Which means its time for me to start thinking about college. Many teenagers at this point in their lives are lost and don't even know where to start looking for college. I am among them, but for me it seems like it is hitting a lot harder.
Here is some background information real quick. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I have been hospitalized two times for attempted suicide. I have missed a lot of school because of this and I'm not completely on par with my class. Credentials wise, I am. Actual knowledge wise, I'm not even close. Now, I don't want you over there on the other side of the screen thinking, "Oh poor girl. She shouldn't have to go through that". There is absolutely no need for that. I am glad that I went through everything in my life so far. It has made me a stronger person.
Now that you have that information you might be able to see why the whole college thing is freaking me out. I have never had good grades, but I am smart. I learned everything. I just didn't try because I had no motivation. My GPA could definitely be better than it is right now. I haven't been in many clubs or been apart of my community. I'm not even sure what exactly I'm good at. So, why in the world would any college want me? This is my existential crisis. What will I do? Where will I go? Will I make something of myself or will I forever live with my mother? This realization came crashing down on me and left me in a paralyzed state, but now I am awake. I am making a plan. I am not going to be nothing. I am going to have an amazing, beautiful, and successful life. I am not going to let my past drag me down. I will get into a college. I will impress every single person that has ever doubted me. I will impress myself.
~ Skylar
Comments
Post a Comment